The Mayberry Pickle Store proudly presents our new pickle song...
  "Don't Make No Pickles For Me!"
 


I wuz gonna call it, "Kerosene Cucumbers Will Rot Your Gizzard!" but that un makes me cry.

Click the play button to hear a quick, low quality version
Imagine it's the Dillards playing and singing and not some Darling wannabe.

or right-click here and Save Target As... to download the bigger, better version
(as Mr. Darling would say, you got time to surf the net, you got time for music)

 
Oh the County Fair's a big ole time
There's rides and food and fun
There's contests for the women folk
There's ribbons to be won

Well they got themselves in an awful fix
Just tryin' to be nice
Replaced a batch of her sour dills
And boy they paid the price

Please, please Aunt Bee
Don't make no pickles for me
I done ate 5 jars, can't take no more
Of them pickles, please Aunt Bee

Miss Clara's pride was awful deep
She tries so hard ya know
A scrapbook fulla blue ribbons
Eleven years in a row

Aunt Bee she can grow them cucumbers
I'd swear her thumb is green
But they swapped out her pickles for the storebought kind
Hers taste like kerosene

Please, please Aunt Bee
Don't make no pickles for me
I done ate 5 jars, can't take no more
Of them pickles, please Aunt Bee

Well she took a bite of those decoy dills
And decided then and there
It was high time she did it, she was gonna win
A blue ribbon at the fair

An awful mess, that's what they'd made
From this simple plan they'd hatched
So they ate all the pickles and they asked Aunt Bee
Could you make us another batch?

It all ended well, Bee's pickles didn't win
That ribbon gave Clara a dozen
All Andy and Barney and Opie could say is
I guess we gotta learn to love em!

Please, please Aunt Bee
Don't make no pickles for me
I done ate 5 jars, can't take no more
Of them pickles, please Aunt Bee
 
   


Lyrics and music by Kirk Green
Music was built upon an original midi sequencing of "Oh Susanna!" by Barry Taylor

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